Thursday, July 7th, 2016:
[ While I was falling asleep our 25 pound cat jumped up on the bed and fell asleep on my right leg. I woke up maybe fifteen minutes later, the cat was gone and my right leg was in pain, the same kind of pain you get with a ‘charly-horse’ – I managed to move into a position that slowly made the pain go away and got my leg to relax.
I really don’t think that has anything to do with these two dreams: ]
-Two heavy duty dreams-
In the first dream, I’m not me, I’m a married guy who’s had a stroke. I’m wheelchair bound and can’t communicate. I know my wife is under too much pressure, is my only advocate and tries her best to explain to doctors what I was like before my stroke and what I would probably like to have them do. The doctors all look at her like they think she has real problem and shake their heads behind her back. Then my wife packs me into our van with our dog and drives two hundred and fifty miles to the motel we went to on our honeymoon. When we get there the motel is closed down, shuttered, plywood nailed over the windows- As she’s standing outside the van with me in a motorized wheelchair inside, she walks the dog, gets him back into the van and stands there looking hopeless when somebody in a motorhome pulls up, opens his window and says, “We’re closed for the season- hey, I remember you two- I’m sorry, and I can see by your license plate you came a long way, if you really need a place to stay for the night, I can let you use the old cabin out back-” and he fishes around for the keys- My dream wife stutters and stammers and blurts that she had so much trouble getting the ‘puppy’ into the van- and I can see her tears and know that when we came here on our honeymoon we met that man’s mother, who was rescuing cats, and she fell in love with the kittens and I promised her, I don’t know how many years ago that was (in the dream) that when we got settled I would drive her back up here and we could get one of the kittens she wanted so badly. We never did. In my semi-paralyzed state, I can see that she doesn’t want to ask the man if his mother is still alive. I wonder if my wife is having a stroke and I’m helpless to help her.
When I woke up I thought that dreaming I was somebody else was really weird and I also thought it was very strange that I didn’t have a clue as to what my wife’s name was, or what the character who was me in the dream – what his name was. I realized my leg was not throbbing with pain and I guess drifted quickly back to sleep.
– – – – –
In the second dream I’m somebody else again, I’m sick, I have a hacking cough and I think I’m secretly dying of cancer or something like that. A gay friend who was about the only person who was ‘there for me’ when I was devastated by an ugly divorce, comes to see me and he makes me dinner. He might be the only one of my friends who suspects that I am really as sick as I am. After I was going through my divorce and this guy wasn’t around, ( I think he took a job somewhere else or something ) I had several friends laughingly tell me that I was the only person in ‘our circle’ who didn’t know that this guy was gay. As I’m hacking and gasping, he comes over and puts his arms around me and gives me a couple expensive gifts. I nearly collapse, turn around and cough and gasp and spit some blood into a tissue and hide it. My gay friend says, “We have to get you to a doctor, don’t you worry about a thing, now that we’re a couple I will take care of you.” As I’m shaking I reach onto a hutch and give him a couple trinkets that were identical to pieces of jewelry in a movie we both liked in those bad old days. In the movie a man gave these pieces of jewelry to a woman who thought he was getting up his courage to ask her to marry him. In the movie a weird character looked at the jewelry and laughed, “Oh – don’t you know what this means? These are symbols that would tell any gay person that there is no real attraction there at all – See? This one has the number “3” inscribed on the back and this one has the number “2” – together they add up to “5” and we all know what happens when you divide 5 in half, you get a fraction-” My gay friend looks at me with tears in his eyes, sniffs, “Omigod, I’m sorry, you’re really not gay at all, are you? I better go-” and runs out the door, leaving dinner burning on the stove while I gasp and cough and collapse on my couch.
– – – – –
I woke up wondering where the silly numbers came from and whether they meant anything at all.
I also wondered if I was intercepting somebody else’s dreams.