Butterfish Pond? Merkenack Lake?

Tuesday, May 16, 2017 —>

— My sister, Sharon, found photos of me making faces {Sticking my tongue out at the camera? } and wearing US Navy dungarees & a plain white tee shirt. In one photo I was smiling, holding a young boy on my knee with a friend whose head was shaved – clowning with a monicle in his eye and wearing a brown leather jacket. I didn’t recognize the friend or the kid who might have been mine (?)

— I stopped looking at the photographs and heard mom and dad come home – I went down stairs into what looked pretty much like the house we lived in on Huntington Road in Stratford. Dad took a small black dog { Flipper? } out the front door on a leash { which almost never would have happened in this life – either the leash or dad taking the dog out for a walk } I followed mom into the kitchen. She went into their bedroom beyond the kitchen and I turned around to see dad had come back inside, & he said something about looking at, ‘Butterfish [ something ] ‘ – I asked him, “Butterfish  – what – ?” & he repeated, “Butterfish Pond, near Merkenack Lake.”

— I woke up and saw that it was 7:50 am. I got up and realized that Cathi had just gone into the washroom. I wondered if she was sick. [ —> Nope, just running late. ]

— I went and looked up Butterfish Pond, found a warning about eating something that was falsely marketed as ‘Butterfish’ but was really something with undigestible oil that could cause severe stress, especially with somebody with stomach troubles. “Butterfish” was also a description of catfish fried in butter.

— & I looked up Merkenack Lake —> The only hit at google was for somebody whose surname was Merkenback { Elise? and it came with a date “4 November 1866″ and was part of a list connected with ‘Brooklyn Geneology’ — Brooklyn Marriage Records?

{ http://bklyn-genealogy-info.stevemorse.org/Marriage/1866/Groom.html }

{”    LAKE, Charles Henry. GAUS, Elisabetha. 9 Sept 1866. #403.

LANG, Wilhelm Friedrich.  MERKENBACK, Elise. 4 Nov 1866. #629.  “}   { ??? }

— Shrug —

Splitting Headache Before Weird Dreams About Open Doors And Strange Things About Pets

Thursday, September 29th, 2016 — 11°C / 51°F — Sunny & Cool in Atlantic Canada @ 10:45 am —

Stonehenge at night.
— Stonehenge At Night – Seems like a fitting image for a Dream Journal Entry —

— I woke up at something like 3:45 am with a wicked headache. Could have been a combination of allergies and sleeping with my neck in a wrong position-?

— So I stumbled around with one eye half open and made a cup of instant coffee – hoping the caffeine would do the trick & went and sat back in the recliner in the living room.

— Woke up a little later with the same degree of ‘wicked’ headache, got up, ate something, took two aspirin and another cup of coffee.

— That appears to have worked. I was able to get up and start the coffee so the love of my life would have one less arduous task to get herself together and out the door on time. But then I sat back down and conked out. I think I heard her going out the porch door.

Very blue river.
— & I’m thinkin’ – these colours from this angle also looks quite dreamlike. The photographer is German, I’m guessing this might be somewhere in Germany. —

***** Dreams :

— I dreamt we replaced our outside east facing door with a more solid door that was half an inch too narrow and tried to compensate by adding a second door – a bifold door with windows – inside the one that didn’t quite close right. — The door blew open a couple times, I gave up and { inside the dream – } tried to get some sleep.

— I turned around and saw a blur on the floor, a weird green cartoon of a dog formed around the blur and looked like a caricature of a dead dog – When I got to look through the green thing, I saw a small dog who was quite lively and not dead. I also saw a cat I was sure was Domino – our dearly departed Bengal Cat – but a bit smaller and maybe younger than Domino when we knew him. I think a couple more smallish animals had gotten into the house while the doors had been open.

— Sigh –, I really miss that cat.


— There were two women I thought I recognized, one of them being long time family friend, Diane P. Torres – who’s got a birthday coming up in about 23 days 🙂 – And while they were busy doing something – I’m not exactly sure what they were doing – I realized I had a celebrity guest who came into the room with the three of us. It was a large room, reminded me of a library in a mansion (?) I’m not sure exactly what I was doing either, but I was slightly south-east of the center of the room and the women were in the north-west, and the celebrity guest came in from farther east and slightly north of me. I thought I should introduce the women to the guest and as I began to do so, realized that the woman I thought was Diane was someone else, so halfway through my introduction speech, I panicked and forgot everybody’s names, I asked the woman who wasn’t Diane, “How formally should I introduce you, tell him you are Miss Chapin?” and then thankfully woke up before I died of embarrassment.

— When I woke up from that is when I realized I had that wicked splitting headache.

Dreamy Banff
— And — another dreamy lookin’ place, Banff, Alberta —


— sigh –,

~~~~~ Jim




Two Heavy Duty, Uncomfortable, and Strange Dreams.

Thursday, July 7th, 2016:

[ While I was falling asleep our 25 pound cat jumped up on the bed and fell asleep on my right leg. I woke up maybe fifteen minutes later, the cat was gone and my right leg was in pain, the same kind of pain you get with a ‘charly-horse’ – I managed to move into a position that slowly made the pain go away and got my leg to relax.

I really don’t think that has anything to do with these two dreams: ]

-Two heavy duty dreams-

In the first dream, I’m not me, I’m a married guy who’s had a stroke. I’m wheelchair bound and can’t communicate. I know my wife is under too much pressure, is my only advocate and tries her best to explain to doctors what I was like before my stroke and what I would probably like to have them do. The doctors all look at her like they think she has real problem and shake their heads behind her back. Then my wife packs me into our van with our dog and drives two hundred and fifty miles to the motel we went to on our honeymoon. When we get there the motel is closed down, shuttered, plywood nailed over the windows- As she’s standing outside the van with me in a motorized wheelchair inside, she walks the dog, gets him back into the van and stands there looking hopeless when somebody in a motorhome pulls up, opens his window and says, “We’re closed for the season- hey, I remember you two- I’m sorry, and I can see by your license plate you came a long way, if you really need a place to stay for the night, I can let you use the old cabin out back-” and he fishes around for the keys- My dream wife stutters and stammers and blurts that she had so much trouble getting the ‘puppy’ into the van- and I can see her tears and know that when we came here on our honeymoon we met that man’s mother, who was rescuing cats, and she fell in love with the kittens and I promised her, I don’t know how many years ago that was (in the dream) that when we got settled I would drive her back up here and we could get one of the kittens she wanted so badly. We never did. In my semi-paralyzed state, I can see that she doesn’t want to ask the man if his mother is still alive. I wonder if my wife is having a stroke and I’m helpless to help her.

When I woke up I thought that dreaming I was somebody else was really weird and I also thought it was very strange that I didn’t have a clue as to what my wife’s name was, or what the character who was me in the dream – what his name was. I  realized my leg was not throbbing with pain and I guess drifted quickly back to sleep.

– – – – –

In the second dream I’m somebody else again, I’m sick, I have a hacking cough and I think I’m secretly dying of cancer or something like that. A gay friend who was about the only person who was ‘there for me’ when I was devastated by an ugly divorce, comes to see me and he makes me dinner. He might be the only one of my friends who suspects that I am really as sick as I am. After I was going through my divorce and this guy wasn’t around, ( I think he took a job somewhere else or something ) I had several friends laughingly tell me that I was the only person in ‘our circle’ who didn’t know that this guy was gay. As I’m hacking and gasping, he comes over and puts his arms around me and gives me a couple expensive gifts. I nearly collapse, turn around and cough and gasp and spit some blood into a tissue and hide it. My gay friend says, “We have to get you to a doctor, don’t you worry about a thing, now that we’re a couple I will take care of you.” As I’m shaking I reach onto a hutch and give him a couple trinkets that were identical to pieces of jewelry in a movie we both liked in those bad old days. In the movie a man gave these pieces of jewelry to a woman who thought he was getting up his courage to ask her to marry him. In the movie a weird character looked at the jewelry and laughed, “Oh – don’t you know what this means? These are symbols that would tell any gay person that there is no real attraction there at all – See? This one has the number “3” inscribed on the back and this one has the number “2” – together they add up to “5” and we all know what happens when you divide 5 in half, you get a fraction-” My gay friend looks at me with tears in his eyes, sniffs, “Omigod, I’m sorry, you’re really not gay at all, are you? I better go-” and runs out the door, leaving dinner burning on the stove while I gasp and cough and collapse on my couch.

– – – – –

I woke up wondering where the silly numbers came from and whether they meant anything at all.

I also wondered if I was intercepting somebody else’s dreams.

~~~~~ Jim

Several Wild and Crazy Dreams

Wednesday, August 19th, 2015 -(30˚C / 86˚F — Clear and very Sauna-Like out there @ 3:20 pm on my old ex-neighbor, Bill Clinton’s Birthday, here in Atlantic Canada )-

Game Development Screen Shots
“You Have Been Disconnected” Collage from Game Screen Shots.

— I fell asleep with the CBC News Network’s 24 hour news channel on the television, pets jumping up onto me and being their ‘usual’ strange selves, digging their claws into my chest and rubbing their heads against me, like they were very anxious about something – And I dreamed some fanatical ethnic cleansing group was targeting anybody they suspected of being, to quote Peter Gabriel, “Not One Of Us” and I was trying to get possible victims, including my own family members, out of town before the fanatics came along and butchered everybody.

— Then I woke up and turned the television off, shuddered and went back to sleep, slept ‘fitfully’ with a worried dog whining in my ear to wake me up a couple time, like he knew I was being attacked by weird dreams. They weren’t quite nightmares, I didn’t think I needed my heavy duty spiritual help to clear them away, I never quite woke up enough to realize I probably should have contacted my ‘Major Guardian Angels’.

— Yup, I had several weird dreams, did not feel like anything malevolent was attacking me with violent images or feelings of vulnerability or anything –

— And one dream that sticks out. My wild and crazy ‘Amor Fou’ has a sister whose got a ‘cement consciousness’ — “All mixed up and permanently set” <— Credit that quote to my favorite silly tea bag lines from the seventies. Anyway – the love of my life’s sister popped into a dream. We were in a car or more like a multi passenger van in the Connecticut town I grew up in, across the street from the house I lived in for most of that life. I was probably in the back-most seat, Cathi was beside me, Jassper was whining in my ear, sitting on the seat next to me, me in the middle. Cathi’s sister turned around from the driver’s side, in the middle seat. I couldn’t see who was driving. Cathi’s sister has been anything but reasonable to me and Cathi has apologized for subjecting me to her sister’s nasty jibes and nastier looks since I got here. But in this dream her sister was reasonable, apologetic, even acted like she admired my ‘talent’ as a writer as she turned around, and handed me a journal I had written, which I immediately thought the woman had stolen to read through to try to find fuel for her attacks, -to find anything she could use against me in her crazy attempts to convince the world that she’s been right all along and I am the right hand of the devil, here to steal Cathi away, murder her off in the wilds and hand her soul to the devil for eternal torment in the worst sections of hell below us. But no, Cathi’s sister smiled at me and said, “I read this, it’s really good-” and continued smiling like she meant it. Even in the dream I was shocked.

— When I woke up I had whining cats and dogs to deal with and then had to run to the washroom myself, and I almost forgot that dream. Then I wondered if something majorly traumatic happened to Cathi’s sister and she was trying to undo a number of bad karmic choices she’d made and actions she’d incurred so she could enter heaven with a clear conscience.

— I don’t know. Should I worry?

~~~~~ Jim, [ who discovered that – yes – Jassper did connect this blog to his facebook and twitter accounts, hmmmm- ] 

Car Rolling Sideways Dream

Monday, 03 August, 2015 -( 28˚C / 82˚F muggy, but absolutely gorgeous outside @ 5:58 pm in Atlantic Canada on the adjusted New Brunswick Day holiday. Actual Holiday is August 1st, but that was a Saturday, so they’re celebrating today- )-

Car Show in Arnprior. August 30, 2012.
– From a car show that had been moved from a park in Arnprior to a street that was closed off for the occasion on August 30th, 2012.

— Dreamed this morning – After I got up and fed the critters and made it back into bed before the cat could shred me with his claws or the dog could jump up on the bed and take my place-

— I dreamed I was sleeping in the middle of a bench front seat, in a car that I owned that actually had bucket seats- But I was covered by a sheet and a blanket and had a twenty five pound cat sleeping on my chest. 🙂 I really had a twenty five pound cat sleeping on my chest at the time.

— In the dream I woke up enough to realize that the car had started itself and was rolling sideways at a quick pace that would soon take it, and me, and the cat, beyond the limits of my parents old property, where I did most of my growing up and all that- ( And when I owned the car I was dreaming we were inside of, I lived nowhere near that house ) & if we continued that sideways motion, we would almost certainly roll into the path of an oncoming car, or roll over an innocent person, maybe even a kid, and possibly kill somebody, or be killed ourselves. 

— When I tried to move my foot to get to the brake pedal, I discovered there was a hump between me and the driver’s seat area. When I tried to move over, I couldn’t because the cat was weighing me down and I think the blanket and sheet were caught on something. I tried to push the cat off my chest, and had to make several tries because my arms were tangled up under the sheet and the cat did not want to move – did not realize we were heading for disaster if he didn’t-

— I finally gave him one more push that was strong enough for him to decide to jump from my chest and run across the mattress to the edge of the bed, almost in the opposite corner from where my head was. The effort also woke me up and I realized I’d been dreaming and I opened my eyes to see the twenty five pound orange cat glaring at me like I’d hurt his feelings almost beyond redemption by tossing him from my chest in my sleep.

— So I rearranged myself, made sure I had two claw-proof layers of blanket between my throat and where I knew his claws would end up, purred and began to pet an invisible cat where he had been enjoying life and cat dreams a few minutes earlier. He understood what I was trying to tell him and happily inserted himself in place of the invisible cat I was pretending to pet. I fell back asleep quickly, don’t remember any more dreams I probably had after that.

Orange cat stationing himself between me and the computer.
Moe, the now 25 pound orange cat, explaining that it was his job to supervise any computing I thought I might do while he also wanted to decorate our dark blue curtain with his shedding orange hair, photo taken on August 5th, 2012.

— Yay?–,

~~~~~ Jim

Family Reunion Dream

Monday, October 13, 2014  — Thanksgiving Day in Canada, Scarf’s Birthday in Ithaca —


I dreamed a lot of family members were at a family reunion that lasted several days at a house I didn’t recognize. I dreamed I slept in a couple different beds while I was there. One time I woke up our current orange cat, Moe, had gotten into some oil, had very black messy oil all over his head and back, and he wasn’t saying anything, Wasn’t meowing or complaining about anything, and when he opened his mouth he was all black inside his mouth, his jaws, his gums, roof of his mouth, tongue and his teeth. I was hoping he’d let me clean him up before something really bad happened.

Then we were listening to my father talking on and on about what he’d been up to, and I realized I had slept at least one night in his bed and that felt creepy. And then I was out in the woods somewhere, following tracks and roads that were mostly very rudimentary, two parallel tire tracks through fields and stuff. I found my father’s house, it looked like a modular unit, kind of like a glorified mobile home with a garage attached. I think the house was brown. Somebody told me that it sounded like my father was making progress in taking control of his life, avoiding some people who weren’t exactly good for him and deciding for himself who he would see and who he would hang out with. I started to follow this person back to the reunion, but it felt to me like he was following another path off away from the reunion.

Then I was back at the reunion between my cousin Glenn and his mother, Aunt Phyllis, catching up with them – they both ‘passed over’ Phyllis before 1990, I think, Glenn in 2001? soon after his 50th birthday. And my cousin, Sue, who moved to Arizona several years ago and dropped out of touch with just about everybody, who had a special closeness with Glenn, said, “Sometimes I can smell him, like I know he’s in the room with me.” And I told her that any time she thinks of him he can tell and be right there with her. She wasn’t very comfortable with that.

Then we were making plans to leave the reunion and I checked with my mother to see if I was getting a ride home with her -she doesn’t drive- she said no, the woman who was giving her a ride had plans to stop off and see how her children were doing and there wasn’t room in her car for me. I asked how I was supposed to get home, mom said, ‘Safely’.

Then I was walking through a city apartment house and heard a chain saw or something, saw kids around the age of 6 to 8 getting out of the way as somebody on a dirt bike came charging down a flight of stairs and headed for the door, revving his engine. But then the dirt bike rider stopped and parked the bike, inside the door, off to the left. He was probably between 12 and 15 years old.

Then I woke up. I got the feeling that the person who explained that my father was making progress had been an angel.