Monday / Day 10

Sunday, November 9th, 2014  -( +9°C / 48°F @ 3:45 pm With a nearly solid ceiling of clouds, smaller cloud, that have rounded edges that let rays of sunlight through every now and then, here in Atlantic Canada )- 25th Anniversary of the Fall of the Berlin Wall.

Fall of the Wall: in 1989, November 9th was a Thursday, I was delivering newspapers in the Ithaca, New York area. When I was delivering the papers the morning after the wall came down, the 10th, my sister’s birthday, I had to carry several papers through crowds of students at Ithaca College. I was taken by how self absorbed the students seemed and shocked that they were treating this as just another day in their lives, getting on the more important social business of impressing the right people and flirting with the right members of the opposite sex, in most cases. There was a Jewish woman who was some sort of executive secretary or something at NRC, the cash register company who also made other electronics things, I think the company had a line of windows compatible computers in those days. She was very sober and told me she didn’t think it was a good thing that Germany might become reunited. She was worried that the kinds of forces that allowed the Holocaust might be back in power and try again.

Sleep: After I got up late yesterday afternoon, having gone back to bed after feeding the animals, maybe got back to bed around 11:30 am, I got up around 3:30m. I think I wrote that in yesterday’s blog. I don’t think I got back to bed after that until after 10 am this morning. -worked on my NaNo novel most of the night-

Gack-

INTERRUPT! WordPress timed me out and had me sign back in- which is weird. After that I wrote about five more paragraphs and selected the categories and tags and clicked Publish, and got that incredibly frustrating “Are you sure you want to do this? / Please try again” Message and lost everything I wrote after what you see above this, before the ‘Gack-‘. Should I feel happy that the auto save draft function worked at first, but then didn’t? Schnarrr!

Dream: Several Rock and Rollers were sleeping in a hotel room. It looked like they’d been booked in a place that didn’t have enough rooms for the whole band, or maybe they couldn’t afford separate rooms, or huge rooms with multiple beds. So they were sleeping two and three to a bed, and, maybe to avoid problems, they were either using sleeping bags or under and over blankets so nob two guys were under the same blankets, and one guy who was the third person on one king sized bed had his sleeping bag upside down, or exactly opposite the other two. I sat down with David Crosby and he looked tired. At least I thought it was David Crosby. I told him I had just done an internet search on Jackie DeShannon to find the correct lyrics to an obscure song that one band had sung and I never could hear the exact words to one verse. He looked like he wished I would give up and go away and let him sleep. I told him that one site had listed him as one of the many who had recorded her songs and asked if he’d actually met and talked to her, and was she still alive and well? One of the other guys groaned and asked me to help him pull his boots off. That’s the only dream I can remember right now.

NaNo Novel is over 36,082 words. I slept maybe 3 & 1/2 or 4 hours since yesterday’s BloMo blog. I lost 2 or 32 thousand words, I ache all over, I had an interesting dream or two that I have forgotten, our pets are weird, as usual, and the clouds outside are very odd and strangely beautiful this afternoon.

Blah—-

My bruised rib is hurting again, after several days of not hurting and now I have to spend an extra couple minutes any time I want to move, especially when I want to get up out of bed, where I don’t spend nearly enough time and my allergy eyes are burning again. —schnarr—

But at least I still have my sense of humour.

Last night I drank some cocoa instead of coffee or decaf, and felt like I was wearing a hat the whole time I was working on cleaning up a nice happy excerpt of the nano novel to replace the probably misleading blurb that is up there right now. I had a pleasant ringing sensation in my ears that had the kind of feeling I get after driving for several hours to a place I really want to go to visit people I really like and who treat me like a valued human being. This was especially necessary in the 1970’s, 80’s and early 90’s when my father was becoming sick with what turned out to be terminal asthma – well, maybe the steroids he needed in order to breath actually killed him, straining his really strong heart until his second heart attack in 1995 killed him.

-Ack, enough of that- I relaxed happily into an in between dream and reality state and felt pretty good, misunderstood what was going on out here in the real world, but made up for that and just wasted over an hour writing this and losing what I wrote.

—Schnarr!

———jda——

Sunday / Day 9

Sunday, November 9th, 2014  -( +9°C / 48°F @ 3:45 pm With a nearly solid ceiling of clouds, smaller cloud, that have rounded edges that let rays of sunlight through every now and then, here in Atlantic Canada )- 25th Anniversary of the Fall of the Berlin Wall.

Fall of the Wall: in 1989, November 9th was a Thursday, I was delivering newspapers in the Ithaca, New York area. When I was delivering the papers the morning after the wall came down, the 10th, my sister’s birthday, I had to carry several papers through crowds of students at Ithaca College. I was taken by how self absorbed the students seemed and shocked that they were treating this as just another day in their lives, getting on the more important social business of impressing the right people and flirting with the right members of the opposite sex, in most cases. There was a Jewish woman who was some sort of executive secretary or something at NRC, the cash register company who also made other electronics things, I think the company had a line of windows compatible computers in those days. She was very sober and told me she didn’t think it was a good thing that Germany might become reunited. She was worried that the kinds of forces that allowed the Holocaust might be back in power and try again.

Sleep: After I got up late yesterday afternoon, having gone back to bed after feeding the animals, maybe got back to bed around 11:30 am, I got up around 3:30m. I think I wrote that in yesterday’s blog. I don’t think I got back to bed after that until after 10 am this morning. -worked on my NaNo novel most of the night-

Gack-

INTERRUPT! WordPress timed me out and had me sign back in- which is weird. After that I wrote about five more paragraphs and selected the categories and tags and clicked Publish, and got that incredibly frustrating “Are you sure you want to do this? / Please try again” Message and lost everything I wrote after what you see above this, before the ‘Gack-‘. Should I feel happy that the auto save draft function worked at first, but then didn’t? Schnarrr!

Dream: Several Rock and Rollers were sleeping in a hotel room. It looked like they’d been booked in a place that didn’t have enough rooms for the whole band, or maybe they couldn’t afford separate rooms, or huge rooms with multiple beds. So they were sleeping two and three to a bed, and, maybe to avoid problems, they were either using sleeping bags or under and over blankets so nob two guys were under the same blankets, and one guy who was the third person on one king sized bed had his sleeping bag upside down, or exactly opposite the other two. I sat down with David Crosby and he looked tired. At least I thought it was David Crosby. I told him I had just done an internet search on Jackie DeShannon to find the correct lyrics to an obscure song that one band had sung and I never could hear the exact words to one verse. He looked like he wished I would give up and go away and let him sleep. I told him that one site had listed him as one of the many who had recorded her songs and asked if he’d actually met and talked to her, and was she still alive and well? One of the other guys groaned and asked me to help him pull his boots off. That’s the only dream I can remember right now.

NaNo Novel is over 36,082 words. I slept maybe 3 & 1/2 or 4 hours since yesterday’s BloMo blog. I lost 2 or 32 thousand words, I ache all over, I had an interesting dream or two that I have forgotten, our pets are weird, as usual, and the clouds outside are very odd and strangely beautiful this afternoon.

Blah—-

My bruised rib is hurting again, after several days of not hurting and now I have to spend an extra couple minutes any time I want to move, especially when I want to get up out of bed, where I don’t spend nearly enough time and my allergy eyes are burning again. —schnarr—

But at least I still have my sense of humour.

Last night I drank some cocoa instead of coffee or decaf, and felt like I was wearing a hat the whole time I was working on cleaning up a nice happy excerpt of the nano novel to replace the probably misleading blurb that is up there right now. I had a pleasant ringing sensation in my ears that had the kind of feeling I get after driving for several hours to a place I really want to go to visit people I really like and who treat me like a valued human being. This was especially necessary in the 1970’s, 80’s and early 90’s when my father was becoming sick with what turned out to be terminal asthma – well, maybe the steroids he needed in order to breath actually killed him, straining his really strong heart until his second heart attack in 1995 killed him.

-Ack, enough of that- I relaxed happily into an in between dream and reality state and felt pretty good, misunderstood what was going on out here in the real world, but made up for that and just wasted over an hour writing this and losing what I wrote.

—Schnarr!

———jda——

Day 8 / Saturday

Saturday, November 8th, 2014  -( +2°C / 36° F @ 3:15 pm – The sun is shining and there are a large low clouds in odd roundish shapes, connected around corners et cetera, with interesting shades of dar to light grey and a bit of white. I took a couple photos, we’ll get one up here, sooner or later, the weather app says, ‘scattered clouds’ but these don’t look scattered to me. )- It’s my friend since High School’s birthday, Walter C.

clouds

I wouldn’t call these clouds, “Scattered”.

Moe

“Moe” enjoying a box, sitting on Halloween candy. Couple days ago.

Sleep: Duh- I fell asleep watching House Hunters international or something like that and might have slept fifteen minutes to half an hour. This was before ten thirty pm yesterday. They it must have been seven am when I rolled into bed this morning, I got up and fed the animals around eleven and went back to bed, and slipped in and out of dreamland until 3 pm. Cathi went to bed after I did and got up before me. I thought I heard her calling me and rose from a dream I was having to find that she had gone somewhere and taken the van.

Dreams: Yup- Many- All I remember at this point is that I was talking and/or interacting with several people, maybe several groups of people. And I felt like I was learning something.

Health: I have a head ache, back ache, body aches. I have that, “I need coffee” sense that caffeine may make it a little better.

Nano: Went over 32,000 words last night.

NaBlo: Here we are, Day 8. I could see where today could have been a day where a change in momentum might not have good for ‘discipline’ here.

Astrology: The month began in the midst of a Mercury Retrograde Cycle. Many writers who don’t sneer at astrology completely will recognize this as not a good time to start anything. When Mercury goes direct Anything you started while it was retro is very likely to stop. I tried to outsmart that probability by not beginning a brand new venture, a whole brand new blog, but picked up and continued one that had already been started earlier this year, thinking it would be a little bit easier to continue on with that. The same with the NaNoWriMo story. It’s a prequel to something else, I’m trying to make it stand alone, but I also started this prequel a month before Mercury went retro and began the NaNo drive fresh, with fifty thousand plus words that followed plot lines before the NaNo on hold, waiting to be edited and merged into the NaNo stuff after the NaNo stuff is finished. I never dove into NaNoWriMo and produced this much so quickly before.

Reality?: Yeah, I have a few worries about financial things and the way things are going.

On The News Front: I think I fully expect somebody to try to bring down the economy of the Western World. I think I believe the Rothschild Banks are behind this, or rather somebody behind the Rothschilds banking system is behind the plot to impoverish the USA and all her allies. Shrug. I think there may be more news on this front before December. I will be surprised if the economies of the US and Canada are doing well before and after New Years. I’ve been pleasantly surprised before, let’s hope that happens again.

—–sigh,

 

———jda——

Day 7 / Friday

Friday, November 7th, 2014  -( +6°C / 43°F @ 10:00 am – & We’re having a rain event. most of the snow from last week is gone. We might get more snow later today & this evening, it’s hard to tell and the weather network has gone graphically wonky so their information is useless. )-

Dreams: Of Course, Most memorable right now? (1)  There was a guy whose body was becoming very strange. His back, arms, neck and head had become almost entirely atrophied, but were minimally working and somehow he had walked out of the fatty substance, so he had a very thin body from the base of his spine up and a blob of formless fat, which sort of tried to regain the form of his former body- following him around, more or less hovering in the air behind him. I only saw this guy from behind and he was verbally describing his condition to me. (2) (?) Indoors somewhere, I was visiting or checking out this couple who had built a meditation dome, and wanted to give or sell me a booklet on how they had built and finished their dome and what they were all about. They had deflated something, put it inside their dome and re-inflated it. I couldn’t quite reach the booklet and wanted to read it, but for some reason I couldn’t. (3) I realized there were several people at this meditation meeting. I thought the original couple who had built the dome were gone. They had left their manifesto behind, and left. I think I was worried that people coming to them for wisdom and guidance wouldn’t get any. I started talking to somebody and asked him if he knew my yogi friend, the guy said he had heard of him, I said that my yogi friend had seen this meditation group as a good thing if you came here to meditate as a group and then went home or went someplace quiet to let the meditaion session sink in, energy take route or whatever, but don’t believe anybody human is going to sit down and solve all your problems in 25 words or less. (4) I think there was a fourth dream in which somebody was telling me he was going blind. This may be connected to a news story from last night’s television news. Somebody had shot a sea otter with a shotgun and left it to die. Rescue people from an aquarium had come along and tried to save the sea otter. they had to operate on a flipper that had been partially shot away, had to operate several times on shattered bones, and discovered that the concussion had left the otter permanently blind. This had been about a year ago, and the otter is doing a lot better now, but is still blind. The aquarium has since rescued a female sea otter and she’s okay, but not okay enough to release back into the wild. Because male sea otters can be aggressive, they introduced the two slowly, showed video footage of the female swimming around near where the male was out of the water, sniffing and looking around, but unable to see her. They said that the aquarium staff is still cautiously optimistic and were very happy to see the two sleeping together, one of them had its arm out and had spent their sleep time touching the other one and nobody had gotten crazy and tried to slash or harm the other, so they thought the two had become friends. So that might be why I dreamed somebody told me he was going blind. (?)

Health: Right now I can barely see what I’m typing because I have one of those visual migraine patterns going through the entire left half of my visual field with a small ‘tail’ just to the right of center. The whole left half of what I can see was vibrating, with crystal, opague and bright colourful stuff moving around. I’ve had these things for most of my adult life, I remember thinking the first time I saw one that it might be a sign that I would soon have a religious experience. I remember feeling strange when I had one of my early experiences, seeing this stuff while talking to a salesman in and electronics store. Can’t remember right now whether it was a radio shack or a place that sold primarily stereo components in the seventies. I’m thinking lately that I’m barely functional, operating at flat out the best I can do and worried that Cathi doesn’t believe my best is good enough. I think maybe she thinks I should be trying harder on several fronts. I have also been suffering through headaches when I first get out of bed in the morning. These headaches last between fifteen minutes and an hour, with rare headaches lasting longer, On a couple of days I’ve had to go back to bed, arrange the ramp of pillows just right and try to ignore the pain until I can use yoga techniques to relax completely, and this usually works. Sometimes takes me an hour or longer, and sometimes takes me several passes of relaxing various body parts’ muscles in a specific order, and finding the first few muscles have tensed slightly again after I’ve worked my way almost to the end of each cycle. After several cycles the first muscles I relax become more and more relaxed, and I know I’m getting somewhere when the first muscles do remain relaxed until I get all the way through the cycle and can then feel like I’m letting go of all my tension, floating down or up out of my pain- Often, I fall asleep at this point, and if it worked, I wake up, soon or sometimes after a couple hours, feeling relaxed and headache pain free.

Pets: The animals are their usual needy selves. Grey guy driving me nuts from the second I’m up and out of bed until he’s been fed and eaten all of his food and gobbled up everybody else’s that he can get to. I’ve had to put the dog’s food up on top of the refrigerator to keep the cat from eating it before the dog comes back inside from his morning pee and poop session outside.  Moe gets to follow me out onto the porch while grey guy is greedily gobbling up his bigger portion of ‘wet food’ on the kitchen table. I toss the rinsed tuna-can-sized tin that the wet food comes in- into the recycling box, set the porcelain bowl of Moe food in place, turn around, pick up Moe and plop him down within reach of the wet food, then scoot through the door, close it before the grey cat can run out on the porch, jump up and bully Moe away from Moe’s food. With dog and those two cats dealt with, I can then go concentrate on Domino who looks at me and moans pitifully about the way his lot in life has turned out lately, I give him a handful of treats and cover the bottom of his bowl with dry food and give him a light pet on the head and sometimes he purrs, sometimes he looks at me like I’m out of my mind, why would I pet him like that?

What else? It’s been more than an hour and I’ve still got traces of visual migraine vibrating on the left, now more like three quarters out from the center of the left side, and no longer interfering with what I’m trying to type here. I’ll have to proof-read this later, and I’m wondering if there might be some real surprises in what actually came out.

Sleep: Yesterday I blogged early, because I thought the dreams I woke up remembering were important, went back to bed, slept for maybe an hour, got up, fed the animals and went back to bed, in just enough pain to make me think I wouldn’t be much good at anything, did my relaxing stuff, never quite accomplished the level of relaxation I needed, but fell asleep. -Didn’t remember any dreams as I drifted in and out of sleep until three thirty-ish in the afternoon. Today? I ‘chilled’ after midnight, hoping I can get myself into any kind of decent schedule at all, found nothing worth watching, so I put on the news and between ups and downs, trips to the washroom, etc. It was more like after three a.m. before I was more or less settled down enough to think about drifting off to sleep. I think it was more like 4 a.m. or after when Cathi came to bed and I did sleep, fitfully, had the dreams I recorded above between 4 am and 8  this morning. Tried to get more sleep. decided I better get up and feed the animals. So my non pattern had me getting maybe five hours of fitfull sleep from ten a.m. to 3:30 pm and then maybe another three to three and a half hours between 4 and 8 am again. & I’m still pretty much always exhausted.

NaBlo: After I got up, I began my news blogging schnarr, dealing with complaining animals every ten minutes or so, so I was still messing with news stuff after Cathi got home. She went to bed with the television on, her tab computer thing in hand, checking up on the stuff she checks on every evening. I finished the news schnarr at just before 7 pm and went right into my NaNo Novel.

NaNo: The main character and his almost too good to be true romance in the ninth grade/ Junior High School / Is progressing well. She is very intelligent, has a few neurotic issues, doesn’t trust people who compliment her intelligence because some guy representing himself as a Mensa administrator almost raped her when she had just turned 13 years old, doesn’t trust people who say she’s beautiful Because a photographer who wanted to do her portfolio, telling her she could be a model and make lots of money, thought she was older and when he learned she was 13 that year, pretty much escaped before anybody accused him of proposition an under aged kid. Now there’s a substitute teacher who may be stalking her. I was up and down all evening, remembering to save often, needing to deal with animals again, trying to let Cathi stay in bed, not bothering her with anything. I didn’t realize how much I actually got done and went from something like 18,000 words at 7 pm to over 24,000 words before midnight. The word count application at the NaNo site says I could be finished on the 13th of November at this rate. Which, after bombing out the last several attempts I made, feels really good. I’m still slightly worried that I might hit a brick wall and feel, for instance, that something stupid is happening and I’d need to rethink things, because some plot twist is taking on an implausible turn of events or something like that. Plus+ – I’m pretty happy at the way things are going and think this novel is pretty darned good in the form it is coming out, that nothing too weird is happening, that it does explain the back story to the much longer, several part novel-(cycle?) I began writing in 1968.

—sigh, It’s probably time to go take an allergy pill. Headache still there, backache still with me. I’ll probably survive.

———jda——

Thursday / Day 6

Thursday, 06 November, 2014 – -( -1°C / +30°F & Very Grey in predawn Atlantic Canada at 6:57 am )-

Reality: I have an insistant orange cat meowing pitifully at my door, trying to scratch his way into the office here, with a big black dog right behind him.

Sleep: I got into bed at something like twelve last night, but watched a little television. Arrow – I have not really ‘gotten into’ a lot of network shows lately. We watch the Blacklist, Orphan Black, The Game of Thrones, and Cathi got deeply into True Blood and I didn’t miss an episode of that in the last three years. But Arrow- I don’t often see an episode all the way through, and do not know many details- but I watched last night’s episode from a Chicago station. and then while flipping around, and discovered that the second half of the Flash was playing on another station, tuned into that, noticed that Grey’s anatomy would be on at two am our time, and saw a commercial teaser for it. During another commercial break, I went out into the living room where Cathi was feeding her bouncing cows on one of her social games and watching something on an episode of Dragons’ Den. She hushed me and told me she wanted to see what was going on with the television show, and she usually has the teevee on as background while she’s busy with her computer games, so I thought that was a bit weird. And when the show she was watching went into a break, I asked her if she was following Grey’s Anatomy, was that something she was really interested in, did she want to set the pvr to record at 2 am, and no- the show I had seen that was either a series ender or season ender or something was not what was listed to play at 2 am on this odd station – a time zone shift Cathi wanted so she could get shows she wanted to see at a later time when two or more were playing at the same time. So I missed a large part of the climax on the Flash, and got back with one of the major characters in the hospital and a bad guy in a really weird place that even somebody with super powers could not escape from. So lots of details from that program are missing- but that was over at 1:30, I flipped to the CBC News network channel and relaxed and fell asleep to the news, woke up when Cathi came to bed, whenever that was, but did not wake up enough to keep me from slipping easily back into sleep. I think I might even have a chance to develop a decent sleeping pattern and maybe gradually stop feeling completely exhausted all the time.

Dreams: 2 Dreams with cars as the central focus? Someboy met with Cathi about a car they had taken away from her. I don’t know whether the person with the power was her boss or what their power or reasoning was. When they realized they had made a mistake, they called us both into their presence and gave her the keys to a new car, and told us where to find it. It was a big old peach coloured convertible, with shiny highlights and details, like something out of Great Gatsby days, with the steering wheel on the right hand side. She was excitedly climbing behind the wheel and I was heading for the passenger’s door, which was on the left side, and I couldn’t find the handle to get into it The top was down- it had chrome doo- dads on the fenders and huge white wall tires, and I couldn’t figure out how to open the door.  This changed into me, driving an older car out of the way, up near the top of a snow covered hill, it looked like there had been some kind of party, or maybe it was a parking lot at something like a country club or something. I did not recognize the place at all, but I was backing around, off the road, where the snow hadn’t been plowed, I crossed an area that had been plowed and had to go through another unplowed, hillside area in order to get to a place where I could safely shift into ‘forward’ mode and drive down the plowed road. I started to got stuck and I didn’t know if the rear wheel drive older car could get me to where I needed to be in order to easily get onto that plowed road out of there. I woke up with this unresolved.

Too much reality: I took our jeep out last night to get cheap bread and coffee for Cathi in the morning, one for me to get a bit of warm coffee inside me around 9:30 pm and chill most of the extra large coffee in our refrigerator so I’ll have something to sip on all day today. The jeep stalled three times on the way home. The check engine light is not flashing, but it’s been lit, we haven’t had lots of money, so I haven’t been driving the jeep much and it has a quarter tank of gas and that would have gotten me to the convenience store, Tim Horton’s and back maybe a dozen times, but when I was backing it into our driveway and out of Cathi’s way so she can get to work this morning easily, it died again and did not want to start. I told her it might need to be checked and she wasn’t happy. But I can’t jump into it and drive it anywhere, can’t go looking for work while she’s got the van at work or anything like that until we resolve this issue. planned obsolescence? Evil banksters pulling the plug on us?-  Trying to manipulate us into a not so happy place where they have total control over? who knows?

NaBlo? Day 6 is here, I’m on track.

NaNo? 17,820 words as of midnight last night, a couple more after that. on track to finish on the 15th of November.

Pets? They gave up trying to scratch their way into the office and they’re off looking for something else to get into.

—Shrug?–

———jda——

Day 3 = Monday –

Monday, November 3rd, 2014 – -( 0°C / 32°F & Very White outside @ 8:15 am in Atlantic Canada )- { New posts below two sticky posts- }

2 deer in the snow on a grey morning.

There were 4 deer up the hill, closer to our neighbour’s back feeding spot. Only 2 of them took the chance to come down to sample the oats I threw out to them.

There were 4 deer up the hill, closer to our neighbour’s back feeding spot. Only 2 of them took the chance to come down to sample the oats I threw out to them.
Dreams: I had several, remember some. I was walking around outside somewhere, mostly out of doors, with people I knew from the Post Office in Connecticut. & Not the usual ones I think about or the ones who sometimes wander into my dreams to say hello or whatever and then disappear. Pamm F-M. was there, and so was Denise M.C.L.-  I don’t remember what we might have been doing but when Pamm and Denise walked into a building and I was outside, I remember some of the guys were there, and I don’t remember whether all of these guys actually made it through the high pressure training we had to go through. And then I was walking away in daylight, walking past houses on a street I half recognized, and then the houses were gone and I was walking along the edge of an asphalt driveway, where a rounded curb had been formed. There were two African-American hunters with shotguns, facing away from the driveway watching a short slope down to a body of water, and I wondered if they were intending to shoot fish.  There were several saplings that had been planted along the edge of the driveway, maybe one every ten or fifteen yards. There was a small campfire at one spot between saplings and I wondered if that was the hunters’ campfire. and then I thought maybe they had been facing the water out of curtesy to assure us silly humans that they weren’t hunting us.

Waking up: When Cathi sat down on the edge of the bed to finish getting dressed for work I woke up enough to hear strange rumbles going by. I drifted in and out and began feeling back pain in odd spots. But I woke up enough to wonder what day today was, I was fairly convinced it was a Wednesday, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought it just might be a Monday. And Monday means garbage day. As the pieces of ‘reality’ fell into place, I remembered Cathi saying she would have to get up and out earlier than usual to make sure she got to work on time if there was any problem with the snow. When the sun was completely gone last night there was hardly enough snow on the ground to say so, 5 to 30 centimeters forecast or not. I realized the rumbling sounds were probably snow plows going by. It had been 20 minutes to 8 when I’d last been aware of the time, Cathi had already left the bedroom. But, if it was a Monday – And remembering yesterday’s Blog entries were dated Sunday convinced me that it just might be a Monday, – I thought I better get up and take out the garbarge.

Snowy Yard with Snow coated Swing

I first noticed the deer in the open spot beyond the end of the fence that might be too dark in this photo to recognize right off, top of the hill on the right.

I first noticed the deer in the open spot beyond the end of the fence that might be too dark in this photo to recognize right off, top of the hill on the right.
Stumbling past the office, I peered inside and noticed the security cameras outside shots were very white. I stumbled past the office, to the bathroom, hung out in there long enough to feel relieved, stumbled back to the office, looked around for outside clothing, noticed deer were standing around in the center of a couple outdoor shots on the security camera stuff. (which is more like a deer cam than an actual security thing) I found socks and boots and and got through the kitchen, noticed that Cathi was still here, finishing clearing the end of the driveway and clearing the snow away from the van so she could go to work. I realized I would need my winter jacket if I was going to help her any, found the jacket, climbed into it, grabbed the pail of oats for the deer when I saw that Cathi was finished shoveling and about to climb into the driver’s seat and zoom off-

And I went out and tossed several handfulls of oats to where the deer feel safe to eat it. Turning back around, I noticed that Cathi and the van were gone. I put the blue oats pail back inside the porch, went and dragged the garbage can out to the edge of the road, went inside, went to the office, grabbed my glasses, walked back to the kitchen, took a few moments to focus on the recycling calendar, which is too small for easy reading, saw that this week is grey, paper and cardboard recycling. took the grey recycling bin out and placed it next to the garbage can.

Snow, driveway, footprints, drag mark where the garbage can went.

Driveway, often called a ‘laneway’ in Canada, dry spot where van was parked, you can see where Cathi shoveled the end of the driveway before I got my body out of bed and my brain working this morning. You can also probably see a little bit of cloudy sky in the upper right hand corner.

Driveway, often called a ‘laneway’ in Canada, dry spot where van was parked, you can see where Cathi shoveled the end of the driveway before I got my body out of bed and my brain working this morning. You can also probably see a little bit of cloudy sky in the upper right hand corner.
Grabbed the camera and went back out to take a few pictures. Went back inside. Back to the office, took the card out of the digital camera and began the process of copying photos from the card to the computer – Decided that I better let the dog out before he broke anything, jumping up and down outside the office door. Let the dog out, came back to the office, fired up the blog and here we are, with a starving dog barking his brains out outside and I gotta go let him back in and feed him before I pop the photos into this.

I’ve had to walk carefully around the grey ‘visiting’ cat, slightly anxious that I might step on the little fussbudget and either kill him or fall down and break something, possibly bleed out with a nice friendly dog to lick up the blood and cats to complain that I should be feeding them instead of dying on the floor- how inconsiderate—

NaNoWriMo: Last night, before midnight, I stopped at 5,440 words. The NaNo site thinks I could be finished with 50,000 words by November 19th at this rate.

 

“Image Details”
Two deer grazing
– in the snow of a grey
November morning –
– Snow coated yard
– snow covered swing
– that a young girl
– once loved
Driveway – hidden beneath
– two inches of snow
Many foot prints
– some human –
– some deer –
– and a wide path
– – carved by a –
– – – garbage can –
-dragged by a man
– who couldn’t –
– or wouldn’t –
– carry that –
– weight –
– Sometimes it feels
– that –
– too many –
– things –
– have changed –

—jim—

—Sigh?

~~~~~ ———jda——

Day 2 of NaBloPoMo?

Sunday, November 2nd, 2014  -( 34°F / +1°C & doing something out there, rain, sleet, hail, snow or all of the above plus windy at 12:30 pm Standarad Time in Atlantic Canada )-

—Wow, that was a mouthful—

Dreams?  Yes, I had several and remembered them momentarily while waking up to wonder if we were having the heavy snowfall that had been forecast. But prancing dogs and moaning cats and nagging back aches brought me too close to ‘reality’ too quickly and I lost the dreams, lost my memory of them. If they were important, I’ll see, hear or remember something later that will trigger a memory of the dream.

Nano? Yes, began my NaNo Novel last night, pressed the publish button after midnight, so it showed up as 1,869 words so far today. I will have no problem continuing on from there.

WebCam Snow photos: The old XP machine doesn’t believe it is connected to the LAN right now so I might have to kick it a couple times or threaten it with bodily harm before it wakes up and says, “Oh, that cat 5 cable-” Dirty ruckabruck.

& Um, here we are.

12:54-ish pm  ———jda——

NaBloPoMo? Day 1 / Saturday November 1st, 2014

Saturday, November 01, 2014   -( 1°C / 34°F & ‘Light Snow’ is falling out there @ 9:15 -ish pm / Can I scream now? )-

Frustrating evening. Started my usual Headline news schnarr early enough, but with rain forecast turning to possibly heavy snow, when the love of my life got up we reminded each other that we had to get going and do stuff, quickly. So I left everything unfinished and went a-zooming about.

We zoomed out into the real world, raced over (within speed limits) to the nearest Kent Hardware store, bought 2 pieces of 3/8 plywood and shrink wrap plastic window schnarr.

It began raining while we were out and was cold and damp and wouldn’t have been miserable if we didn’t have to be out in the ‘not even drizzle’ level weather doing stuff.

The two pieces of plywood had to go up under the tarp that is draped over out steel shed. The first one was tricky, the second one was almost a snap.

Strange Man screwing plywood onto frame.

Me, screwing things together, -not up-. Woodpile, under tarp, is probably happily going to stay dry now, whereas it might not have if the plywood wasn’t helping the tarp keep the weather away.

My fingers quickly grew numb while screwing the plywood into the 2 x 2 frame wood, but we got that accomplished. & spouseling got a chance to snap a couple photos of me while I was using wonderful power screwdriver.

Yum.

Spouseling pulling the last productive plants from her garden.

And ‘mon amour fou’ had plenty to do when we didn’t need both of us to jam plywood under tarps. She had the last vestiges of her fledgeling garden to take care of, and a bunch of leaves needed to go over the newly naked garden-

Yum 2

“Hmmmm- Yum! Thank you, friends from the vegetable world-” Some of our best friends are vegetables.

And we had to marvel over the plants’ resilience, and thank them for making our lives much better than they might otherwise have been, without their friendship and companionship.  🙂

Sigh.

But when I got back indoors, and had to finish my headline news blog schtuff- it was after 5 pm here. Doug, in Ithaca, had been working on this when we had to go zooming out into retail land, but he had a new and unusual problem with his internet connection going off/disconnecting shortly after we were gone.

So I worked on what we had on my end. Worked about two hours, and tried to publish from here.

But Word Press has this irritating error page that pops up every now and then that says, “Do you really want to do this?” / “Please try again.”

And clicking on ‘please try again’, got me a nice- fresh- clean, “add new post” page that was completely blank. —I should have uploaded the whole group project that we had put together and you can see how long it was, and how much was involved in ‘compiling’ that.—

I went back to the ‘All Posts’ page and clicked on the ‘edit’ link for today’s project and —

Roughly about half of it was lost.

The love of my life didn’t learn any new words as I let the universe know that I was not exactly happy with the way things were going. But she did yell at me to ‘chill’ after the third or fourth barage of explitives.

And today is day one of NaNoWriMo -National Novel Writing Month- and NaBloPoMo -National Blog Posting Month-

I can probably post a blog a day without blinking. But getting 50,000 words out in 30 days is a bit of a challenge.

And I don’t want to have to spend all my time and energy screaming and swearing about computer b.s. when crashes happen to good works in progress.

—Schnarr!

—jda—

Politix, Gender, Nationality, Identity, & the I Ching –

Friday, June 27, 2014.-( 10C / 50˚F @7:00 am )-

(If I put anything in “quotes” it could be a judgment call, made by someone else, that I haven’t yet verified. ((Or it could be a quote…)) )

I’ve got ‘notifications’ in my inbox. Twitter thinks I should be logging in and following several streams of comments.

One of those streams involves all kinds of mixed opinions on Canadian “Justice Minister” Peter MacKay’s “chauvinistic” attitudes as revealed by his Fathers’ Day and Mothers’ Day Messages, sent out this spring. Those who don’t like Mr MacKay’s attitudes or politics say that his comments reveal deep down character flaws. He basically says (in the ears of his detractors) Mothers are good for making lunches and nurturing children, Fathers are responsible for molding children’s minds, shaping them into good and decent/responsible citizens. He also recently responded, in answer to a question; “Why aren’t there more women judges?” : Something very close to, “Women don’t want a position that makes it difficult for them to take time off to take care of their children.” A lot of people, many of whom are women, are upset over what they see is Peter MacKay’s apparent belief in antiquated visions of sexual divisions and who should be allowed to do what, according to which sex they were born into.

I should probably take this time to explain that I grew up in the United States, mostly in the state of Connecticut, 50 miles or so from New York City, where I was exposed to rather progressive philosophies of gender identities and abilities. I was also exposed to a lot of anything-but-progressive attitudes and anxieties, surrounded by the enforced homophobic atmosphere that prevailed in the public school system. High school teachers and students were more that ready to accuse any young men whose hair was longer than their own of being deviant perverts who would probably want to commit horrific/atrocious crimes against children. Having a mean alcoholic for a father, I didn’t have a friendly attitude toward authority figures. { One evening my father stumbled home drunk from the local V.F.W. bar and demanded, “Why do you do everything that some asshole faggot in England tells you to do when you won’t listen to your own father?” (( V.F.W. = Veterans of Foreign Wars, in theory: an organization to support Veterans and give them a place to feel safe and reminisce about the comradeship of fighting to defend American style freedoms against the evil fascist minions who wanted to take those freedoms from the angelic free democratic peoples of the western world. In practice, the VFW bars that I was exposed to were places where half broken men (women were not allowed to sit at the bars in those days) drank to self medicate against their fears and anxieties that they were powerless/impotent in the face of living their lives in accordance with values and expectations that they had grown up with. So if one half baked philosopher blurts out that ‘kids these days take their marching orders from British faggots and won’t listen to their own parents’, half a dozen half drunk comrades were liable to nod their heads and mutter grunts and monosyllabic agreement, and one or two might go home and terrorize their own children with bullshit observations which they believed just might be the gospel truth. )) Luckily for me, my uncle, my father’s youngest brother, a university graduate and high school teacher, was visiting us when my father accused me of being the dupe of British perverts who wouldn’t listen to his own father. My uncle burst into cackles of laughter and said, “I have never known anyone who makes up his own mind about everything- as much as your son.” My father was stunned and flabbergasted, lost the wind in the sails of his tirade and went looking for another drink, forgot I was there and talked to my uncle until he stumbled into bed and passed out. }

A year or two after that scene, which reinforced my self esteem, and reinforced my quest to make up my own mind about anything and everything, a friend of mine came out of the closet. He wanted to tell his parents that he was gay and wanted to practice this by first admitting this to someone he was pretty sure would not go ballistic and either beat him up physically or verbally. I was stunned. He didn’t know it, but I spent two or three days confused, anxious, worried, wondering how the hell I would ever be able to relate to this guy again. How could I ever be in the same room and feel comfortable after learning this deep dark secret of his. But then I realized that his sexuality was not a contagious disease. He was not going to knock me out and rape me and turn me into some kind homosexual zombie who would then dedicate his life to spreading toxic sexual aberrations around to everyone I came near. I was actually able to enjoy this guy’s sense of humour and intellectual insights. He still had valid things to say. He could read something I’d written and tell me that something I had put down in words could have a positive or negative effect, that I hadn’t considered, on another human being -or groups of people. He was still a valuable human being, a valuable friend. He valued me, considered me talented and liked being around me. He never attacked or made a pass on anybody while I was around- what’s the problem? He was a decent human being. He wasn’t the last person who came out of the closet to me before taking the chance of admitting to their sexuality to other friends or family members.

I first came to Canada to meet someone who had been a friend I’d met online in a writer’s workshop and then learned we shared a bunch of similar interests and tastes and actually made each other feel good about life and all that goes with it in this wild and crazy day and age. When we had shared Astrological information, I learned that she was an Aries, a member of a group that I could very easily be friends with and enjoy wild and stimulating conversations with, bounce ideas off of, might find physically attractive, possibly flirt with, but probably not decide to have a ‘meaningful relationship’ with. When we became better and better friends, she’d admitted that her marriage had failed, she was determined not to fall into the trap of seeking or jumping into another relationship that would probably fail just as miserably. I was involved with somebody, she was thinking about becoming involved with somebody else. My somebody discovered that another guy she had really really wanted to be involved with felt the same about her. My Canadian friend had second, third and fourth thoughts about the somebody else she thought might be a possibility, and then the somebody else found a woman who was ready for him and he was no longer on the market. My Canadian friend said, “You know, if one of my friends told me about a couple like you and me who got on so well over the phone and in email and all that, and said they’d never actually met in person, I’d ask them, “Why the hell not?”- So we arranged a meeting, I had actually told her that I would drive 500 miles, give her a hug and then go home if we took one look at each other and went…. “uh, no thanks-“. The meeting was arranged close to her home turf so she she wouldn’t be stuck too far from home if it didn’t work out. It took me eleven hours or more to drive there, and when I caught a glimpse of her through a crack in a door I thought, “Oh no- she’s way too good looking-” She opened the door, we hugged, we ate, we talked, we jumped into a hot tub together. We fell asleep in each others’ arms and I woke up in love. We spent the next day wandering around Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada and I followed her home the next day, met her kids and heard her say, “We have to find some way to make this work-” Boom, I began to believe there just might be a ‘we’ in my future.

When an attraction is purely sexual, one ‘romp in the hay’ might satisfy the desire. When an attraction is intellectual, that attraction might evaporate if one of the attractees changes an opinion or an idea about anything. If an attraction is emotional, a couple has a ‘fifty-fifty’ chance of achieving a stable relationship. If an attraction is Spiritual, any and all obstacles will disappear to bring that couple together  (I saw this happen. I’m here to prove it, still in love with my Canadian friend ((Now ‘spouse’)) twelve years later.)

I moved to Canada, came in as a visitor, jumped through hoops and paid landing fees to qualify and then become a permanent resident. The only job I could find as soon as I was legally able to work was cleaning a bank for a cleaning service. I accepted a couple more assignments from the cleaning service. The love of my life had a decent job with the government of Canada. We were not exactly rolling in money, but we never starved. I hung in there (she was much more than ‘worth it’) and jumped through a couple more hoops and became a Citizen of Canada, a dual citizen of the US and Canada.

Soon after I got here it became painfully obvious that many Canadians had attitudes that I never anticipated. The love of my life has a son with an Autism Spectrum condition. A psychiatrist she sought help from blamed her. He said, in so many words, that she should have been a stay at home mom, then the boy would never have developed that problem. (If she had stayed at home he might have died of malnutrition or exposure as her ex, the boy’s father, wasn’t quite all there when it came to paying rent and other bills and putting food on the table.) That attitude shocked me. The psychiatrist wanted the boy’s father to come into his office with her and the boy or he wouldn’t see them again. The father was too busy with things that mattered more to himself and, besides, didn’t believe there was anything to worry about. I went with my love and her boy to their next appointment. The psychiatrist talked to me like she wasn’t there. He gave me advice on how to be the man in the boy’s life and signed a paper that started a ball rolling that got the boy the help he needed. This psychiatrist wasn’t the only ‘professional’ with attitudes that shocked me up here. Part of her son’s condition included a great deal of difficulty getting to sleep at nights. We took him to a sleep clinic in the same hospital with the above described psychiatrist. There was a senior nurse in charge at the sleep clinic. When this nurse learned that I was not the boy’s father she glared at me and demanded that I leave the room. And when I began working for a local cable television provider in a one person satellite studio, I learned that the “two nations divided by a common language” description applied to Canadians and USAtians (wink) when communicating with my area supervisor. In the U.S. (or at least Southern New England) I was expected to let a supervisor know that I was still on the telephone and paying attention every so often by saying ‘yes’, ‘okay’, ‘uh-huh-‘ or something in that monosyllabic area whenever it sounded like the supervisor paused for my input or somehow indicated to my understanding that he (usually ‘he’) wanted to know that I hadn’t fallen asleep or put the phone down and wandered off. When I interjected one of my ‘uh-huh-‘ indications to my Canadian Supervisor he became irritated, “Don’t do that-” “Don’t do what?” “Don’t say, ‘uh-huh’ like you’re mocking me.” “Mocking you??” “You sound like, ‘uh-huh- riiiight-‘ like you think I’m a jerk.” “I didn’t mean that at all.” (Luckily, I’d already learned that one or two expressions did not mean the same thing in Canada that they meant in the US. After re-filling my cup from a pot of fresh coffee, I’d asked someone if they wanted a refill, and thought she’d said “Okay,” and begun to pour. I was shocked when she frowned and snapped, “I said I’m okay!” and yanked her cup away as soon as I stopped pouring. When you’re pissed in Connecticut you’re angry or upset with someone. When you’re pissed in Canada, you’re drunk. I had a really good area supervisor at that job. He accepted my explanation about the slight differences in culture and appreciated the idea that I was aware of such things.)

What does the I Ching have to do with anything? When I was in the Navy (part of the US Armed “Services”) there was a guy wandering around the ship I was stationed on with a tortured intellectual expression on his face and a copy of I Ching in his hand. I asked him what the book was all about and he probably half expected me to accuse him of subscribing to some deviant sexual persuasion and/or being less than worthy of calling himself human. He looked more painful than usual and said he’d just read that when a society’s artists take sides in political battles that civilization is in trouble. Sounded good to me, but I think I told him I’d have to think about that for a while. I think he smiled. (Maybe out of relief that I hadn’t attacked his self esteem?) I got a copy of the I Ching a couple months later, read the introduction, chose some British coins that I’d gotten in Malta, shook them up in cupped hands and dropped them, counted their heads or tails -ness and made I think five more tosses and counts to get the hexagrams they represented and looked up those hexagrams which the coin tosses had indicated, read the description of the first hexagram, paid attention to the lines whose totals had ‘told’ me they were changing lines from broken to solid or solid to broken, and read what the changing lines in the first hexagram meant and finally read the second hexagram. It’s complicated and might have been designed to discourage half baked individuals from asking stupid questions and expecting the I Ching to answer them in easily understood language. { The book (or oracle?) will tell you it doesn’t feel like answering a stupid question or even tell you that it already answered that question, don’t bother me again. }

I asked several questions based on the state of the world in the 1970’s, asked about politics, and justice, and social controls, and various philosophies and doctrines. An answer I received quite often included the phrase, “This is not the age of the superior man” or something like “The superior man knows this is not his time to speak or seek to acquire political power”. At the time I wondered why the book/oracle was so concerned about any hypothetical “Superior Man”. A couple years later I was diving deeply into the philosophy behind Yoga (especially Raja Yoga, & Spiritual Practices) A book entitled “The Divine Science”, by Swami Sri Yukteswar, had a fairly easy to understand explanation of cycles this planet (and everybody on it) goes through: at rock bottom, in a very dense area of the universe, almost everybody alive on this earth can only understand the purely physical. (This happened most recently between the year Zero A.D. and 1,000 A.D. We hit the bottom at around 500 A.D.) As our solar system moves in its orbit around the centre of our galaxy, which moves in an orbit around the centre of the physical universe- the spiritual atmosphere becomes less and less dense and people on the planet become more and more intelligent and understand a lot more on many levels. Since the year 1,000 A.D. we have been in an area where most people on this planet can grasp the understanding that electricity can pass through wires, that water can seep through sponges and submerged logs, that air can flow through cloth, and so on. This age, whatever we end up calling it lasts more than one thousand years. During the next step up, the average intelligent life form on this planet will understand that magnetism can control electricity which can flow through the material world. This will sort of be the silver age. The golden age happens when most intelligent beings on this planet understand what Spirit is, that Spirit can control magnetism which can control electricity, and so on. Golden Age Citizens will supposedly understand what life is all about, what our purpose is, why we’re here and where we’re going when we leave this plane of existence. One entire cycle up through the ages and down again (Or down from the peak, through all the descending levels and back up again) takes around 26,000 earth years (give or take several centuries).

Okay! So now the proverbial light bulb goes on in my mind. The I Ching’s ‘Superior Man’ would be someone who is fully enlightened, and can understand the meaning of life, and be fully emersed in Spirit and enjoy all the gifts that come with that. Being on that level in a golden age you could be aware of anything happening on the other side of the universe (quantum entanglement). No one could lie to you, you’d know the truth before they spoke. You would be able to heal yourself and anybody else by manipulating healing energies. You could go into a trance (which would be second nature to you) and regenerate a lost body part. You could teleport yourself to anywhere on the planet, or to any other planet where you knew you could live, breath, have water to drink and all that. The ancient Yogis had a whole list of things that legitimately Spiritually enlightened individuals could accomplish.

Believe me, none of our current ‘Leaders’ exhibit any of those qualities or abilities. Anybody who tries to tell you that ‘we’ are good and ‘they’ are bad… Anybody who tries to convince you that there is an ‘obvious’ division between good and bad people. Anyone who tries to divide and conquer the group of people he or she wants to rule over- anybody who wants to be a ruler, anybody who wants to hold power over anybody else: is not a ‘Superior’ person.

If you elect morons, don’t be surprised when the phrases they utter sound moronic.

If you believe you need to delegate power to someone who will most likely use that power to rule over you, you’re in trouble.

Of course your government is lying to you. If they told you the truth, you’d have them arrested.

How do we fix this? “Every generation needs to wrestle their freedom from the jaws of control.”

Let the morons know you aren’t going to take their doo doo any longer.

(((( as a first step to try to learn how they’re manipulating your economy, go to “http://cafr1.com/”  ))))

~~~~~Jim